"Get over it Amber, you need to do that in order to proceed."
Everyone's telling me the same thing, do you reckon i dont know this simple logic? I mean..words are cheap, its easier said than done.
How hard have i tried? Ive been trying all these while, trying all my life.
Its not that complicated really, its just .. different.
I cant seem to fall in love, so sweetly as how i did the last time. Falling in love with him, was so easy, so quick, so..sweet.
And i miss that feeling, i wanna feel it again. The kind of feeling which i have no control over, totally irrational but.. so sweet and so..easy.
But i just cant find anyone else who can make me feel this way. Not anyone else close to even feeling it this way. Sometimes i thought it was A, then i thought no..i should be B, but hey.. even C doesnt fit the bill.
I dont have anymore feelings for him, like come on, its been 4 freeaking years! But i wanna get back that kinda love i had for him, that kinda magical feel thats totally indescribable(on someone else obviously).
But that someone else, is just not within my reach, not in my world!
I do admit, that after the last break up 4 years back, i did have feelings for some people, but that kind of love just feels so different and therefore there was never a beginning because its not the kind of feel ive lost and am searching for.
Why.. why even after hurting me and having to leave me do you still made it so difficult for me to go on.
How.. how did you make me feel so in love with you that no one else can make me feel the same way again.
I feel so haunted, so haunted by the past love, a love that past but a feeling that i dont wanna forget, a feeling that i wanna have with the next love of my life.
* yours truly.
amber.ruoxuan\\twenty\
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20051987\\single\\operations analyst @ credit suisse\\friendster*
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